When you realize everything that you have been going through is not your fault. That asking for the love and affection you deserve is not being needy of clingy but a natural want and need. When the person you're with has so many demons that you are tired of fighting them all, when they will not fight for themselves or you. The one person you love with your heart and soul does not love you enough to fight for you. Finding the strength to get out will be hard and you have to time plan it just right because if not you will be stuck in the same cycle you have been in. You also do not want to hurt the other person because you do love them but sometimes love is not enough.
When I met Jacob it was love at first sight. Besides being handsome, you could see what a good heart he had. We started talking and before long had entered into a solid relationship. We had similar interests and wanted the same thing in life. As we started dating, I was honest that I could not possibly have kids by normal means, and he was alright with that. He also knew I had children who lived with their father, and I would have to communicate with my ex-husband due to the kids.
For months we were fine as I helped him through things he had to go through and we settled into a quiet life together. Things were perfect. One night right after we were together for six months the first incident happened. We had just gotten home from playing pool and he was in a bad mood due to stuff that happened while we were out. When we got home he got angry and threw a fit.
I said, "Jacob what is wrong?"
He shouted back, "Oh you don't know, so I guess you were not paying attention huh?"
Looking at him I said, "I have no clue what happened. I stayed at our table when you went outside for a smoke and you did not say anything to me about anything. We were fine until we got home."
He sighed and said, "Oh yeah we were so fine."
"What the hell," I said. "I did not talk to anyone but you. I paid attention to you the whole night. What is wrong with you?"
"You know what," He said. "If you cannot remember what happened, then I am going to bed."
Looking at him I said, "Okay you go to bed. I wish you would tell me what is wrong."
He said, "Whatever."
He went to bed and I cleaned up the kitchen. When I changed and climbed in bed Jacob was in the middle of the bed and would not move over. I took a picture and went to the office to work.
Jacob
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