My Other Self

Have you ever had a time in your life where you just lost track of what you're doing? Growing up there would be times where I could not remember what I had done or been doing. Normally it was only an hour here or there but as I got older it started to go from hours to days. When I would mention it to my Grams she would just smile and say not to worry about it. How am I not supposed to worry about it when I literally can't remember full days.

I mean I am pretty lucky none of these blackouts have prevented me from my job as a writer nor has it stopped me from freelancing here and there. It just concerns me because I have people say hello in passing and I have no clue who they are. Sometimes I will be in a bar and men will send me drinks as well and I will have no clue who these guys are. That's what worries me the most the unknown of what's happening.

One day I was watching a Youtube video with my niece and she pointed out how these Youtubers had alternate personas compared to how they normally are in real life. It's their dark side compared to their generous nice side. That's how I felt like I had a persona that flipped the off switch on me and someone else emerged.

A few days later I had another blackout. When I woke up I was at a mountain cabin along a river.  I walked out to the porch of the cabin and saw a man sitting on a chair smoking a cigarette and watching the river. He looked up and said, "You finally woke up. I was worried you have been asleep for two days."

"Where am I?" I asked as he walked up to me and took my hand.

"Oh my sweet Tessa your still blacking out between both of yourselves," He said. Then as he kissed my hand he said, "I could help you remember faster but I do not want to scare you."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Someone who has known you forever and a day," He said.

"You know that makes no sense," I said.

"Maybe to you but to me, it makes perfect sense," He said. "You can call me Hey You. Are you hungry as long as you have been sleeping I would be starving?"

"I would like to know why I am in a cabin in a middle of nowhere and with a man I do not know who seems very familiar with me." I said. "Also yes I am very hungry."

He laughed, "Well my dear Tessa no matter which reincarnation you are in you always had a healthy appetite."

I stopped and turned towards him and said, "Reincarnation?"

"Yes Tess, Reincarnation." He said, "I wish that you would remember your other selves by the time we meet. It would make it easier to get to know you in this form."

"I have a headache from all this," I said.

He laughed, "Yeah this is all pretty heavy to get used to. How about this, your suitcase and clothes are in the room you were in, why don't you take a dip in the river the cool river will help you along."

"A dip in the river does sound good," I said. "Sure your not able to share name yet?"

"No," He said. "You need to remember everything on your own."

I walked into the room I awoke in and went to my suitcase. Opening it I found my bathing suit and coverup and changed. Walking down from the cabin I walked to the edge of the river and sat down. Once the water started going over my feet I started to feel better. Stretching my legs further I felt the cool water start to rush over them and I started to feel a semblance of calm and relief.

My companion came out and handed me a glass of sweet tea. He sat on the rocks and said, "Feel a bit better?"

"Yes a bit," I said. "You said reincarnation but I do not remember anything about my life before this."

"You normally don't," He said, "Once your purpose comes up you remember very few things as you get hit with a temporary amnesia. Once things come to you you will remember everyone and everything for this life as well as your previous lives as well."

Looking at him I asked, "Will I remember you then and who you are in this mess?"

He looked at me and said, "Trust me when I say you will definitely remember who I am."

"I know you have a headache," He said. "Lunch is ready whenever you are. If you like I can set up a table on the patio so you can watch the water, while you eat and relax."

I felt thankful for this man giving me options and said, "Eating outside would be wonderful. Will you join me?"

He gave a grin that had me catch my breath as he said, "How could I turn down having a meal with a beautiful lady. I will call you to the porch when its set up."

He walked up to the cabin and I sat in the river until he called me. When I got to the porch there was sandwiches and salads waiting for me. I looked at him and said, "Thank you."

"You will never have to worry about me Tessa," He said.

Tessa-Main